Inhuman

Posted: May 11, 2013 in Dark Poetry, Poetry

I don’t like being someone who sits by and watches life flow by,
unaffected by it’s tide and still alone with people by my side.
I’ve been that someone long enough, to the point I don’t know who I could once have been,
I struggle even just to be human.
It’s inhuman to not feel, not care, to not have emotion. With no fear of persecution,
but every fear of how people think and observe my manipulation(of myself),
because I’m simply becoming but a hollow illistration.

From the inside out it echoes, my cry to be not quite as empty as I feel I must be,
and all the while hoping no one finds out of my inactivity.
Inactivity of my soul, even if my spirit thrives,
for all of my emotions have run utterly dry.
I don’t feel hope, I don’t feel despair,
just emptiness staring into itself in a mirror.
I think no one understand but contradict myself by thinking,
everyone feels this way at some point in their core being.

I’m not alone, but I feel abandoned. Wait no, that’s not it,
I know I’m not abandoned, but whatever it is I feel it.
There must be more to this thing called life,
for if not then why would He have used it as the price.
The price for our redemption, to wash this blood off our hands.
To open the door ways to heal our lands.
He cared enough about us to pay the most that He could,
and if that’s true then what’s the most that I would?
Would I really start to live if it meant pain and strife?
Even still, knowing that by losing I would gain the right.
The right to be called a son of the King most high,
whose glory fills the temple and stretches to the ends of the sky.

In worlds I don’t know or could even fathom with imagination,
this King has showed Himself to be more than a halluciantion.
All for us He created the stars,
to guide us and amaze us when we have no answers.

Alright, I guess I need to stop just listening and watching.
It’s time for preparation.
Preparation for an unseen war with very real and visible casualties
and for a higher call that would demand myself from me.
Leaning only on His understanding is harder than floating on water,
but I’ll put my little faith in Him until mountains move asunder.
And the sky dives into the ocean
and the trumpet bangs louder than thunder.

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