Posted: May 4, 2013 in Dark Poetry, Poetry

What happened to her?
She’s the woman I loved, but she exists no more.
There was once meaning in “No matter what”
Now only sleeplessness and empty tear ducts
I thought I had the love of my life
I thought I had met someone I could call my wife
But I was just a dreamer lost in the stars
Because gravity brought me down hard
When all she could say was “I miss my best friend”
And then went out and cheated on me again.
Like, who does that in their right mind?
Wants me and plays me at the same time?
Said yes, then said she didn’t think we could be happy
Took the ring, then said she needed stability
And to her that meant being married soon
To everyone else it meant less of a typhoon
Less complications, something more reliable
But she’s blind and a fool, it’s undeniable.
So she up and gave up on what we had
And the cart attendant gets to hold her hand
She thinks she loves him more and could forever
Just because things here were getting sour
But isn’t that her fault in the first place?
This isn’t a game, test, or a stupid race
To find out who can match the rabbits pace
Her hearts too far gone, the woman she was is erased.
So why am I having a hard time getting over her?
Soul ties, beautiful lies, hoping she looks over her shoulder?
I’m worth too much to be caught in your trap
I hope you grow up and stop drawing crayon on your map.
I lost my way chasing after the heart I saw
But now I see she’s the type that wants “Heaven” over God.
More concerned about where she’ll end up
Than the relationship that determines that stuff
Gave up God and her husband for a false promise of happiness
Meanwhile, I’m heart broken trying to show her forgiveness…
Oh no, she could never just let it be that easy.
I said it’d take time but she’s determined she must ruin everything.
Hasty half-hearted choices in the moment based on her thirst
for acceptance, stability, love, happiness, and self-worth
At this point all she’ll get is a temporary high
And hurt herself more when truth stops by
I’m so angry at what she’s done to me
And even more that she acts like she did nothing wrong, see
I have a reason to be the way I am
Willing to give her everything I had
Just to change and fix the man I was becoming
But this woman didn’t give it a chance and started running
Back into the arms of this child who left a kiss on her lips
While she was betrothed, what happened to everything before all this?
When you cheat you get no option to take the other man
Break up for a real reason, then chase something you can actually have
Because a boy like that can’t really be that good for you
If marriage isn’t something he can respect in rear-view
What makes you think there’s a future for you two?
This isn’t coming from just me, talk to anyone and you’ll see
Relationships don’t come from things like deceit.
But then again, I’m compelled to hope you get what’s coming
Because you deserve it and want it over everything
And I hope that sets you straight again
Because I was in love with the person you’ve been…
She was worth it too…
Unfortunately, you don’t fit in those shoes.
You can’t say you feel constricted
After cheating and getting addicted
You should have never talked to him again
Let the feelings actually die so we could try again
You say that’s not what you “want” but it’s everything you need.
Sick people die unless treated properly.
If you don’t get help then the world will crash at your feet again
And then you won’t have me or him there to comfort neediness.

He is a man of low self-confidence
And a woman betrothed told him her heartaches in confidence
Let him believe there was a woman before him he could love
But how dare he and still say he believes in He above?
He let her get close enough for him to touch
Asked if the kiss was ok, she felt his face was rough
She couldn’t regret the feelings stirring
He couldn’t resist, despite the marriage he was burning.
Lusting after the things they couldn’t have
They set a course and drew on their maps
In secret they made all their plans
The ones they’d execute to execute the man
Who held onto promises made and commitment given
Who loved for real and did all he was asked, passion driven
When she was with him it all felt like a mistake
She couldn’t take feeling bad and so drove the stake
Broke up even after promising a week
The next day caved because her convictions were weak
He plotted to play the nice guy in this game
The committed plotted to do his best for change
Any man can fake something for a date
This child faked for something he shouldn’t take
Then when the time arrived and all was spoken she came
To her decision on the man who wouldn’t leave her in shame
Chose the committed and chose to take his name
The next chance she had, lost the ground she gained
Talked to the deceiver who’s words were attractive
She questioned her heart and all it’s motives
Regretted the decision she ought not regret
And put an period to the story before the predicate
A subject and no action, committed was broken.
Lied and cheated, pillow was soaking
He warned her of what would happen next
But she said it wasn’t true, and only a guess
He was right, they started going out right away
Even though the deceiver said he would wait
For her to get therapy and over this grave
Because she’d otherwise stay lost in this maze
That they had gone out of their way to create
And formed beliefs and behaviors to determine their fate
She said she needed to find herself before another man
Guess it didn’t take her long to find this woman
And she promised she wouldn’t bounce between men
Guess that shows exactly how childish they’ve been.
She’s broken a heart for the very last time
There’s no mending this wound large as the skyline
Committed’s heart cries to be proven very wrong
But the movie is still on play, fat lady has yet sing her song
The blind leading blind to their morbid end
When they fall, they may find a surprise within
That after all, without having place in the game
Committed tried to warn them of mistakes being made
Because he took his piece off of the board
And had already started walking toward
His own future, and looked back to see
The fate that would have awaited the three
He still hopes that things turn around
That someday exists where happiness resounds
And that dreams don’t die with mistakes
That there’s still hope for those in the rabbit’s race.
But if nothing intervenes, God help their fate
Because death isn’t as bad as what waits behind hell’s gates
And making God a puppet for your own schemes
Never works out for He is He
And not whomever you would make Him to be
And He respects no man’s intentions or chase for ecstasy
What you give you will receive, and how you came will be how you leave.
Isn’t it about time you discovered this thing called “honesty”?
Or perhaps it’d be better to discover “integrity”?
Because what you’re after has no eternal consequence
“Happiness” will only ultimately lead to discontent.
Pretty lies will only float you for so long
And in the end, I hope I am very very wrong…


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